On August 20, 1996, the State of New York declared my husband, Ezra, and me officially divorced. The winding road that led us to the steps of the court building was complicated.
We were young, in love, and both loved the Lord. The Lord had even revealed to us His plans for us in ministry. We married approximately a year later. Much of our seven-year marriage was spent struggling with problems that stemmed from our youth, ignorance, and poor communication. However, what inflicted the final blow was that we took our eyes off the Lord.
The Lord warned us in a vision and through fellow Christians that the enemy was trying to destroy us. Yet we did little to prepare against this spiritual battle. We studied His Word at a Bible institute and held positions in the church. People did not know that cold walls were going up between us.
I proposed counseling but Ezra refused, for fear others would know what we were going through. I did not stand firm and trust the Lord. I grew impatient and moved in with a girlfriend to gain perspective. What I originally thought would be a temporary separation became our first steps towards divorce.
Our communication was hampered by our individual pain and anger. We began to feel that even God was unable to repair our relationship. Divorce proceedings began shortly after. These years were riddled with fights over money, child support, and the upbringing of our two children.
We both knew the Lord. How could we have strayed so far? In our anger, confusion, and despair we turned our backs on Him. In his pain Ezra asked, “How could God have allowed this to happen? Does He even care?” I asked, “Why, God? How will I provide for my children as a single parent?”
Our efforts to start over without each other failed time and time again. We still had that looming question about the ministry God had spoken over us. He began a healing process in our individual hearts. Nonetheless, reconciliation attempts were unsuccessful, leaving us more frustrated, with a deeper sense of failure.
The events of September 11, 2001, touched us personally. Ezra reenlisted into the military. His physical eyes told him there was no hope for our reconciliation. He felt he would be of better service to our country in
such an uncertain time. The day he came to say goodbye to the kids I was filled with grief. Would the Lord ever
help us reconcile?
Ezra was stationed in Norfolk, Virginia, and began visiting our children nearly every other weekend. By this time I had reconciled my life with the Lord. I began to miss Ezra and started to enjoy our conversations. Stunned, I prayed, “Lord, are you doing what I think you are doing?” Ezra visited a church in Virginia where the Lord healed him from pain and resentment. He became a wonderful, gentle, and communicative man.
My pastor, Richard Vedilago, could see that despite my being a divorced, single mother, I had a heart after God. He encouraged my involvement in the church, Shepherd’s House Open Bible Church in Ozone Park, New York, and I became the leader of Single Again.
Having been divorced nearly eight years, Ezra and I were at a crossroads, wondering if we should attempt reconciliation yet again. We tried not to get our hopes up; however, something was different this time. God had helped us mature and learn from our mistakes.
The love each of us had for the Lord was spilling over onto the other. Nervously we sought the Lord and His will. We asked for advice from our pastors. Their counsel, love, and support gave us peace and Ezra and I decided to remarry a month later.
This would not be possible without His love being at the center of our hearts. Our family is now together again. Our children see firsthand there is nothing impossible for God. Our faith and resolve have been strengthened. As the Lord rebuilds what the enemy tried to destroy, I look forward to new ministries the Father has for us. For now, I will enjoy the work of His hands, my husband
and my family.
