Pray. We can help prepare the young person’s heart, but only God can change it. Pray daily for your child, and don’t be ashamed to recruit others to pray for him.

Ask for his forgiveness for ways you may have failed him. Remove any obstacle that would block him from moving toward forgiveness himself.

Let consequences do their work. To the best of your ability, let him face the results of his choices. You don’t want to stop the process of repentance.

Turn to the Bible. Lean on God for divine wisdom (James 1:5).

Don’t add bitterness to his rebellion. Attack the problem, not the person. Keep all lines of communication open. Enjoy interaction with him outside the times you are forced to deal with his rebellion. Let him know you not only still love him, but also enjoy his company and have confidence in his future.

Don’t let your rebellious child ruin your other relationships. Sometimes rebellion requires you to set boundaries so the situation doesn’t affect your other children or your marriage.

Make sure the rebel knows he has room to repent. Like the prodigal in Luke15, your rebellious child needs to have confidence that if or when he comes to his senses, you have a place for him at your table, as well as in your heart.

Be willing for God to use you to help others going through similar problems (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Make your life more attractive. Show what a vibrant grace-based faith looks like. Don’t be preoccupied with convincing him that Christians are right. Instead, show that Christians are good, and that within that goodness is an overwhelming capacity to forgive him when he gets tired of running.

Don’t give up. You never know when someone’s heart will turn around.

Tim Kimmel is an author and Executive Director of Family Matters. You may obtain a copy of his book Why Christian Kids Rebel at your favorite Christian Book Store or by
going to www.familymatters.net.